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  • rachaelherren

Ugly lonely.

I'm feeling the loneliness again.


Not the good kind


That makes me feel secretive


And interesting and fun.


Not that.


I feel unknowable


And confused.


All out of sorts


And out of ideas


Like a skipping record


Dragging and repetitive


And volatile,


But still somehow


Ineffectual and harmless.


This boredom aches.


Like when you're so hungry


Nothing sounds good.


You'd rather be miserable than just say,


"Chipotle is fine."


I hate when I whine.


It only validates my lonesome.


Who would want to be around so much


Jaundiced unease?


Maybe I can feel less alone


Sitting with the knowledge


That I am


Also


Not enjoying my own company.

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