• rachaelherren

Ugly lonely.

I'm feeling the loneliness again.

Not the good kind

That makes me feel secretive

And interesting and fun.

Not that.

I feel unknowable

And confused.

All out of sorts

And out of ideas

Like a skipping record

Dragging and repetitive

And volatile,

But still somehow

Ineffectual and harmless.

This boredom aches.

Like when you're so hungry

Nothing sounds good.

You'd rather be miserable than just say,

"Chipotle is fine."

I hate when I whine.

It only validates my lonesome.

Who would want to be around so much

Jaundiced unease?

Maybe I can feel less alone

Sitting with the knowledge

That I am


Not enjoying my own company.

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